If a girl isn't pretty
Like a miss atlantic city,
All she gets in life
Is pity and a pat.
Is a nose with deviation
Such a crime against the nation?
Should i throw her into jail
Or drown the cat?
Mrs. strakosh, o' malley and
She must shine in ev'ry detail
Like a ring you're buying retail,
Be a standard size that
Fits a standard dress.
When a girl's incidentals
Are no bigger than two lentils
Mrs. strakosh, o' malley and
Then to me that doesn't spell success.
If a girl isn't pretty like a Miss Atlantic City
All she gets in life is pity and a pat
Any nose with deviation
Is a crime against the nation
Throw her into jail or maybe drown the cat.