I thought I was special.
I thought I was different from others.
I thought it was because I had
talent and worked hard.
There was a time when I think like that.
'I can live my life doing
all the things I want to do.
I can be happy living like that.'
I realized later that living with
that kind of thinking in this country
would be a cause for concern.
I was an individual and not
an individual, alone and not alone.
Still, I wanted to go my own way.
With a selfish and self-destructive life.
With no plans, only fear for the future,
following the dim light
that seemed to go out.
into the dark.
I went into a darker cave again.
With the complacent and stupid idea
that 'I'm fine, somehow it will work out.'
And I keep thinking 'I know what
I want, and I do what i want.
And I do what i want...
and I do what i want......'