I smoked Consulates
and Park Drive
drank Nookie Brown
Learned how to skive
Polo mints to hide
my breath from my mum
Did a little weed cuz it
felt like fun
Did a little bit of speed
if my friend had some
Nicked Volkswagen badges
I'm a Beastie Boys son
Me so horny me so young and
I still get my washing done
Auntie Joan died of cancer
God didn't have an answer
Rhythm was a dancer
Any room for a chancer
That's me in the corner
thanks sir
I wore astute track suits
British Nike shoes
Kangol hat like LL Cool's
Before I was 'avin it
'avin it large
They nicked the BMX
from out my garage
Knew it was Theo
from off the estate
cuz every time he'd see me
he'd smile like we were mates
From then on in
I'd have to walk to me Nan's
And I'd dream my dreams
through a sea of prams
Like a hooligan
on the football stands
And I'd throw the v's
to Leeds and West Ham
Then I ran
I ran so far away
down Scotia Road to a taxi bay
Then I ran again
cuz I couldn't pay
a Muslim didn't
get his fare that day
I apologise today
Things are better
when they start
That's how the 80's
broke my heart
And who are you calling poof
You like Wham man
I hate that stuff
And then my grandad died
and left a hole in the family
and lots of women had to
nanny me
School was a laugh
they didn't have ADD
thick was the term
they used for me
over and over
Repeatedly
over and over
Take my breath away
Bidly Bidly bidly bidly bom
Pass it on the left hand side
right turn Clive
That girl in the fourth year
got pregnant and
she was raised Catholic
brilliant
I cried she cried we cried
our youth died
Drank cider in the cemetery
The year above us
had discovered E
12 50
I could rob me mum's purse
and buy one up Torquay
Met a girl on Monday
drank fizzy pop on Tuesday
Fingered her on Wednesday
and on Thursday and Friday
and on Saturday
Dumped by Sunday
Things are better
when they start
That's how the 80's
broke my heart
The wonder years
I've played my part
That's how the 80's
broke my heart
Like I said
I lost my virginity
to a girl called Anne Marie
well she said she fancied me
And then she said fuck me
and I thought 'fuck me
I'm all talk and it'll
be over too quickly'
And it was
but I couldn't care less
I'd seen a girl's bra
made a mess on her dress
oh yes
You're now rocking
with the best
second person in my year
that had seen a breast
I'm in my 30's now
and I'm still impressed
Where are the Falklands mum
And what have they done
Where do girls come from
Where do girls come from
Where do girls come from
It's the 80's
what you looking at ya mong
So young
so long
so young
so long
Too short
so long
What you looking at ya mong
Too short
so long
too short
so long
So long