I was the first to appear
I'll be the last one to leave
I came with my boots on but I'll
Walk off on bare feet
And the mob in my head sings of eternal wars
and mad things that they've seen
Of the struggle of souls and the wonders of earth
and that the brown succeeds the green
And how the true grace of love only shows when you miss it
I'm ripping the flesh off my body
And I'll pile it up in front of you oh ohhh ohhh
Everything I say is pointless
And nothing ever bears the truth oh ohhhh ohhhh
The bright fluctine days and
The calm benzo nights
The shivering lows
And the maniac highs
And the blessings of birth and the menace of death
And the blank in between
All the waste of ideas
And this permanent state of questioning that I'm in
Do the things that I desire still turn to stone when I touch them
This all's just a fucking pathetic
Last effort to recover youth oh ohhhh oh
Everything I do is filthy
and nothing ever bears the truth oh ohhhh ohhhh
Sweet claret hell, sweet claret hell
What was it that shook me that I couldnt tell
Sweet claret hell, sweet claret hell
Can the poor only buy what the wealthy want to sell
The closer I get to my real self
The further I vanish from you
Everything in here is worthless
And nothing embodies the truth ohhhh ohhhh
Still the cells in my blood
Fuel the mess in my skull
And there's nothing that ever will change
Nor the wrongs
Nor the rights
Nor the spaces and times
Nor the people I've met and forgot
Let this shell that I've made
Be my home till the end
Let me repent and abandon sin
Till the water I've drunk
turns to wine in my heart
and by dawn I'll be gone with the wind