Skin and bones, stomach aches
Lucid dreams, hold my breath
when I'm wide awake
Connecticut, dissociate
Maybe I should buy a house
in a town upstate
If I could, I'd wake myself up
When I am somebody
that I'm proud of
I'm getting undressed for my lover
And praying
she don't hate all my skin like I do
I'm reading books and drinking coffee
Stepping on a scale
I keep in the bathroom
The water goes downhill, and still
I swim against the current
with two arms that cannot fly
And I don't feel alive
No, I don't feel alive
Telehealth, TV episodes
Swallow seeds,
but the fruit never seems to grow
Validate, what I know
What I believe in
and everywhere I wanna go
If I could, I'd wake myself up
When I am somebody that I'm proud of
I'm paying three different psychologists
Trying to remember
who I told what story to
I'm writing feelings in a journal
'Cause that's what people
who have their shit together seem to do
The water goes downhill, and still
I swim against the current
with two arms that cannot fly
And I don't feel alive
No, I don't feel alive
I keep coming up for air and
Ending up with water in my-
I keep coming up for air and
Ending up with water in my lungs
I'm learning how to set my boundaries
How to have compassion for myself
and for my mind
I'm turning off my fucking cell phone
And trying
to have honest conversations in real life
The water goes downhill, and still
I swim against the current
with two arms that cannot fly
And I don't feel alive
No, I don't feel alive
I keep coming up for air and
Ending up with water in my-
I keep coming up for air and
Ending up with water in my-
(and, I don't feel alive)
I keep coming up for air and
(no, I don't feel alive)
Ending up with water in my-
(no, I don't feel alive)
I keep coming up for air and
(no, I don't feel alive)
Ending up with water in my lungs